Shrimoyee the limpid blogger

30.05.2011

2011-05-30T04:23:00.000-07:00

We indeed shared an amazing chemistry....

I have finally QUIT SMOKING!

Yes you read it right and it was difficult i admit but definitely not impossible, this is my second month of smokeless breadth and finally my room, clothes or my mouth doesnt smell like an ashtray. And i dont run out every half an hour for a smoke break, so i belong to the world of non-smokers now :-D

I realized i should pen this down in this page of mine, so that when i look back at this post years later i remember this day fondly and chuckle.....

xx

p.s I still do miss this cylindrical best friend who has always been with me in times of stress, happiness, anger, and has been my partner for 4 years..

First post of 2011

2011-05-30T04:10:00.000-07:00

We are almost heading towards the middle of the year now, and this is my first post, clearly i wasnt really paying much attention to this little piece of diary that i have. Mostly because blogs have now become more like a status symbol than anything else. Most of the people are busy advertising their knowledge of words and so called intellect in this platform which was to my knowledge set up as a form of expression. And expressions are always beautiful if they are pure and true and straight from the heart, they dont need to be ornamented by using (shift + f7) option in your keyboard. They don't need to make a point always or make you sound intelligent.

Anyway this was my observation and expression about the concept of blogging or rather writing and how people are using it.

cheers

Christmas in England

2010-12-22T05:34:00.001-08:00

I haven’t written for a long time, and the reason being is I didn’t feel like or may be I was too engrossed in my new life. The life I had dreamt of far away from my homeland in a beautiful country, a country of opportunities (at least that’s what I thought it would be). But now it’s been very nearly four months and I have settled down emotionally and in the flesh here. Made new friends, slowly built a new home for myself with new people. Hence my mind started working again because my dream is over now and I am back to reality.

I have this little spot in front of my window where I sit and smoke and have been doing that since I have arrived here but unexpectedly I realized I had a similar corner in my own house where I did the same. But when I look outside the views are completely different but they have a very uncanny similarity as well. Probably I noticed this today because its holiday time and every one’s leaving for their home town, going back to meet their family and loved ones for Christmas excepting me. Because I decided to spend Christmas here in England, spend a white Christmas with snow like I had always seen in the movies. I wanted to live a dream I had dreamt of while I was home. But when I see all these people going back to their family and I see myself stuck here with out my family or any of the new friends I have made I realize that Christmas is not about a white or a brown Christmas its about spending time in the arms of your family amidst all the people who love you and know you. I keep having arguments with people about how they get affected by commercialization or the portrayal of life on celluloid, which is far from reality, and I thought I was on the other side of the fence where I was unaffected by all these. But ironically I am no different I also fall in the same herd and get affected by every aspect of commercialization.

Having said that, I know I couldn’t have survived in this alien country alone during Christmas without the company of a very special person who is making all the efforts to make me feel at home and bring a smile to my face every time I feel that I am wedged here without my family.

Finally i would like to wish everyone merry christmas and a very happy new year!

21 finally!

2010-07-22T03:17:00.000-07:00

20th July 2010

I finally successfully complete 21 years of my life, errr a bit confused about the successful bit though, but nevertheless i do! And this is probably the last year that I celebrated it with my folks cuz in less than two months ill be off to a foreign land, where there will be no mommy to bake a cake for me or a daddy who's gonna buy me gifts!
Well yes, yes I know I have to finally accept the fact that I have GROWN up!

p.s Now i am legally allowed to DRINK!!!! and yeah since its my 21st birthday, and i am also officially a WOMAN now!!! I decided to wear a saree!!! :-ppp

2010-07-22T03:10:00.001-07:00

Your musky perfume still lingers on my body

And so does the sweet taste of our first kiss,

The memories are as fresh a morning glory.

Randomness

2010-05-14T08:43:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how constricted my life is and even more constrained are my wants and thought process. On one hand there are people like Chomsky and Miss Wolf who are thinking about and writing mammoth pieces on world economy and the world market and busy evaluating them and breaking their heads over them, and on the other hand there are people like me who start thinking that their world has come to a stand still with just one disastrous relationship or one bad day at work or college. I’m aware that I am not the only one in all probability who falls into this category of humans (If I may call so, because if I am human then god knows what people like Tagore , Einstein or even Chomsky are.) but then I also wonder what happens to such people? Do we remain like this all our lives where our world revolves around flaunting our new job, celebrating our marriage anniversary or any such frivolous event, striving to achieve the highly globalized aspirations and having a few so called intellectual coffee table discussions on globalization and literature?

Lately all I have seen myself distressed about is my relationship, and brooding about how my life would suck if I didn’t have a triumphant relationship or if I don’t get a lucrative job (which of course pays me enough to satisfy all my self esteem needs). But then when I look around and see how people can loose their house and all their loved ones in just a spur of a moment, due to an accident or a natural calamity I speculate how trivial my qualms are. Then I realize that all this can just get washed away in no time but all that will remain is my inner self and if that self is hollow then what is the entire point of my existence. I am not trying to be idealistic here but all I am saying is if we could spend a little more time thinking about our real self, taking some time off from our external self then may be we could deal with extremities a little better than usual.

Goodbye

2010-02-24T11:26:00.001-08:00

Now that its time for me to part ways with Mumbai and I cant find a good enough adjective to describe this city, I would like to thank a few people who have in whatever little way made my stay here eventful and truly memorable. Because a city is nothing without the people and it’s the people who you remember once you look back at the days spend. My three year stay in Mumbai wouldn’t have been complete if either of you would not be there in my life in this course of time.

Reema Bhattacharya

I have fought with her, hated her, shared almost everything with her (leaving aside the lingerie thankfully) and most importantly loved her. My bond with her goes way beyond just friendship because I have practically lived with this woman constantly for three whole years of my life in the same room. I probably can’t live like this with my Husband as well. I can go on and on but then I don’t think this space is enough to talk about how important she has been to me in my stay in Mumbai.

p.s We are not on talking terms for last two days though we are living in the same room (this is the kind of bond that we share)

Roohi Musale

Both of us have bitched extensively about each other, we have passed the nastiest comments about each other; she thinks I am a pack of bones and nothing else. But then she is the one who I spend most of my days with. We are the best bitching and eating buddies. I always miss her when I am in Kolkata, I invariably give her a call when I wanna have dinner out or go clubbing. She has always criticized me but also has been there for me whenever I needed to vent out.

Will genuinely miss you and I mean it. (I know you must be smirking away looking at this but nevertheless I shall say)

Hebah Patel aka Patel scope aka clubbing partner

Yes her name is hebah patel and she is not a gujju!! She has been entertaining me with her lame jokes for last three years and I am sure by now I have memorized all of them. Infact roohi, hebah, reema and me, all four of us have had one of the most special memories in Mumbai. We have abused each other like no bodies business ( we were working in the same group for projects and I guess that explains it all)

Patel I will always remember you….and you have to party with me every time I come to Mumbai!!

Kritika Bajaj

Yes miss drama queen, I admit here I have bitched about you to my hearts content but always thought you have got a very pretty face :-p. Loved that night when we went clubbing together…Will remember that day for a long time…

Tania Dey

The love guru, who is always ready with advice and has a big enough heart to distribute it to the innumerable men in her life. People say we are very similar lovers and trust me I take that as a compliment. Tania I know you love women and so do I so if I ever decide to swing the other way, you will be my first choice…:-p

Manishek Gupta

My first friend in Mumbai, have spend some great times with you. Love you

Subhash Dawda aka Subbie

The knight in shining armor who saved me in the Iron Maiden concert and since then has been one of my closest friends in Mumbai. We have done it all right from advising each other on our love lives, sharing our breakup stories, bitching, partying and also studying. Subbie thank god I met you other wise I would really miss out on a very good friend in Mumbai. Thanks for being there.

Rooshabh Doshi

He is my Hard Rock friend, whenever I have to go to hard rock I give him a call and vice versa. He is my rock star friend in Mumbai who also dedicated me a song in one of his gigs at Jazz By the bay. One day when you become a national rock star please don’t forget me.:-p

Vahishta Mistry

Thank you for all the wonderful times we spent together, you for a little while may be but made me feel at home in Mumbai. I have always admired you as a person, and will always look up to you professionally and have always envied your diplomacy skills. Thanks for bearing all my irrational behavior and still managing to keep your cool and help me out in every possible way. You have helped me at any given point of time and I shall always remember and value that. You have been and always be a very special part of my life and I sincerely mean it when I say that my stay here would have been incomplete without your presence. I would like to publicly apologize to you if I have ever hurt you in any little way. And I hope you know me enough to know that I didn’t mean any of it. Last but not the least a big thank you to Vasanta Aunty, Aspi Uncle and Granny.

p.s I still think you should take the advice I gave you today seriously…:-p

Achin and Utsav

Will always remember you guyz, sadly enough we got to know each other in the last days of my stay here but really have had some good fun with you people. Achin you are one of those rare guyz who has the capability of being a girls best friend. Because its so much fun chilling with you.

Utsav thanks for helping me out with Financial Management after a long day of work. You are one of the sweetest and the most genuine people I have come across in Mumbai.

Finally a big thank you to Arnab, Priyank, Noel, Nitya, Lavanya, Hiral (My cool boss), Dr Colaco, Yash, and all my class mates Will miss you all…..

p.s I hope I haven’t missed out on any one.

Sophia College

2010-02-24T08:27:00.000-08:00

Yet another parting is about to commence and this time it’s not just parting with some one, its with all the memories , the building, the laughter, the anger, the hatred and the love , yes you guessed it right its my college my alma matter.

It’s strange how I have never felt this connect with my schools in the past where I have spent decades of my life.

Sophia College was a dream that I dreamt and it came true, but it didn’t take me long to hate it as well while I was in it, I guess that’s what happens when a dream develops into a reality, we unearth the unpleasant sides of it with our eyes open.

I will not say I have made the best of my friends here,

I won’t say I was very active in college activities either,

But this place has given me much more than that. It has changed my perspective, helped me open my eyes and look around, taught me to dream and yet stay in touch with reality.

And all of this would not have been possible with out Lavanya or Professor Lavanya Varadrajan. She is this power packed woman who is not even remotely aware of the effect she has on people, I could at least say about myself, she has inadvertently played one of the most important roles in shaping my character and personality. She made me love education for whatever it is worth and I will thank her for this for years to come by or may be ceaselessly. She has redefined the definition of a teacher. She has been mean, she has been ruthless, irrational, and there have been times when I wanted to break her head as well, but then she has been the only motivational element which drew me to college and to attend lectures. And I am fearful now because I know there are a very few Lavanyas in the world and thus I don’t know what to expect when I attend my masters lectures. Because she has set such high parameters in last two years that I am scared that the love that I have developed for educational system will fade away if those standards of teaching are not met in the future. But nevertheless the love for education will hopefully remain intact.

Today was my second last day in Sophia College and I now wish this day never came because now I feel that I am about to loose my identity.

10th December

2009-12-10T09:10:00.001-08:00

Five years back this day had altered my life and since that day this date has been one of the most significant days of my life apart from my birth day. Very little did I know back then that this day would someday mean so much to me….

This day always takes me down memory lane to that chilly, December morning when I met some one extremely special at a tutorial.

I call him my best friend today (because I think this is the only relationship which can be at par with family), but then he is not here to celebrate this day with me and nor can I wish him…

So here I leave my note…

Solitude

2009-11-15T02:06:00.000-08:00

I was forever terrified of being alone and thus always ran away from any such circumstances when I have to be lonely physically or emotionally. Because may be I thought I am incapable of being alone or I was scared to face myself. I always resorted to my friends and even random people at times to spend time with or talk to just to avoid being alone.

But then since last couple of months I have practically been alone and now when I look back at it I think I have managed to deal with it just fine.

This has made me more confident and now I know that I don’t need anyone beside me to make me happy or at least survive. The most significant realization that I had was that before when I was encircled by people I was in fact more lonely than I am now because then I didn’t even have myself with me as I was too busy in the process of gathering people around me, because truly every sole is lonely we just think that we are not.

The line by Tagore “Jodi tor dak shune keu na ashe tobe akla cholo re” (If no one responds to you then all you have to do is walk alone) is so simple but is so true. (No wonder he is the literary genius)

Not that I have built a world of mine or something but then at least I have learnt that nothing in this world is impossible and solitude is in fact not such a bloodcurdling thing (at least for extroverts like me).

P.S somehow all the clichéd phrases seem to have a lot of impact on me off late.

For the not so acknowledged person in my life

2009-11-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

Papa, dad, baba, all these words are synonymous with the word father a person who is probably the closest to any one. But for me in some way I always thought that I can never be very close to him emotionally or may be I thought that I could never have the same emotional association with him like the way I have with maa.

Papa was always the one to give me what I wanted in physical terms be it clothes, gifts, cars or even money for that matter. He is the one to pamper my material needs and I indisputably have always got what I wanted even before I have asked for it. But somewhere I thought that emotional connection was lacking and that I could never share any of my secrets or sorrows with him like I do with ma. May be I am at some level scared of him.

But lately as I grow up and start delving more into things I realized that even though there is no superficial emotional connect we connect at a very profound level where I don’t need to tell him when I need him the most and he is there for me.

This feeling stirred me up when recently I was extremely sad and thought that I have no one beside me excluding ma. I went to the living room to sit with my entire family ( which is a custom at my house every evening) just to accomplish my duty of a good daughter, when my dad called me and hugged me tightly and said “You are the most special person in my life “(after two pegs of scotch) . He did this quite frequently whenever he was high and that kind of annoyed me most of the times but somehow that day I had tears rolling down my eyes.

Even now when I am not going through a very ecstatic phase in my life and papa has absolutely no clue of that (at least I never let him know) but still he send me ticket to come back home thrice in a month. May be this is what you call the inner bond or the parental bond. At least this has made me realize the worth of my family. I guess this reinforces that the incredibly clichéd phrase “every dark cloud has a silver lining” is in fact true.

2009-10-22T14:02:00.000-07:00

Its 4 30 pm and i was in the car with ma, arko (my brother) and troy( my dog) , my driver is zooming through the traffic because i have a flight in less than an hours time, ma is tensed if i would be able to make it on time, but streams of tears are rolling down my eyes and when the car enters the gate of the airport on time i finally burst out saying ...

"why did we reach on time?" clenching ma's hand and crying like a little girl who was punished by her teacher.......

"there is no place for emotions in this world" said ma her eyes red, the tear drop on the verge of popping out.....

Every time papa books my ticket for kolkata for some reason I feel sad because i don't want to go back, i don't want a change. I guess i am scared of change. Because its the same feeling when its time for me to go back to Mumbai from Home.

someone somewhere had said that "change is the only constant element of our lives".

But i would say its the most inevitable element in our lives....

p.s Its time for me to leave home and go back to Mumbai...

love and familiarity

2009-10-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

It’s late at night,

Both of them have lost the track of time.

The October sky looks magnificent,

The pitch dark sky embedded with shining crystals. .

He asks her “Are you scared of the dark?”

And she just stares at the sky admiring its beauty.

But he could not see anything more beautiful than her,

Though it was dark and he could barely see her face.

Something was bothering him,

Was it her indifference or distance?

Did she really love him?

Or was it that uncanny familiarity that they had shared for years now.

It was not the same as before,

It definitely wasn’t.

But he could not understand why,

May be that is what was bothering him.

Parting

2009-10-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

My first film in a theatre was with you,

So was my first date.

The first time I had a sip of alcohol,

or the first time I smoked a cigarette.

You were there in all my “first times”.

The fights we had and the love we shared.

The first time I saw what the city looked at night,

The rock concerts and the candle light dinners.

The insane fights followed by the stream of tears.

You were there in all my “zaniness”

But all this was possible only because you were there,

And never gave me a chance to feel your absence.

I took you for granted, misbehaved with you.

Like children do with their parents.

Because you are my family.

But today when I realize that you are actually going away,

For not very long but still,

I miss you and I feel sad.

Because in life you don’t easily get friends

And when you do, you don’t want to part from them.

Actors

2009-10-14T02:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why we crib that there are no good actors in bollywood, because if we look around us we will find brilliant actors everyday. But the only thing that surprises me is that if they are such good actors then why they are even wasting their time and energy in any other profession which doesn’t even pay them one percent of what they could have earned by being a professional actor.

But on the other hand they achieve a lot of things anyways by their acting skills as well, things such as love which is so hard to find these days. I guess only actors these days find love, and if we look deeper it’s true an actor of any kind gets much more love than anyone else, be it our bollywood actors or real life actors. We all love them but all they have to do is just pretend to love us and once they get what they want they stop pretending as well. So I guess the losers are the people who love them actually looser is a wrong word, id rather call them fools.

I have had a very close encounter with such an actor and trust me he was outstanding at his job. I mean so convincing and effortless that he truly would have got an Oscar if he acted professionally.

Kudos to such people! I deeply, truly envy you guyz!!!!

happy ending

2009-09-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

I was just wondering how many people believe in happy endings? After all that is happening around us do we still believe in happy endings? I some how have always believed in them and guess I am going to forever as well, no matter how fucked up my life gets , I some how tend to have this innate feeling that things are going to be fine at the end. Though I have every reason to not think that way, because I have faced enough of situations in life which should have given me my lessons but somehow I don’t seem to learn from them.

My close ones call me naïve , I guess I am hence I always take people for face value and think that the world is full of people who have a basic conscience and are not deceitful, but then I’m wrong. But some how again I love to believe that, and I am petrified of the day when I would change and become manipulative and plan each and every move of mine. I like being impulsive, though that’s the most dumb thing to do as you just land up making a fool of your self but somewhere I feel content. I feel that at least I was true to myself, and may be somewhere that gives me an ego boost (apart from the times when cute guyz compliment me …lol) .

This was just a thought that came to me while I was watching this film where the lead protagonist was talking about how happy ending don’t happen these days but yet some fools like me still believe in them.

insecurity....

2009-07-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

What are insecurities exactly?

Are they our deep rooted fears?

Or they are just a part of our existence?

If I had the answer to the above question my life would have been way simpler.....

Cuz since the time I have been in any relationship I was told by several people that I am apparently a very insecure person.......

If that is true how do I get rid of them?

If I had to justify my behavior I would call myself attention seeking rather than insecure cuz when I am in a relationship of any sort, friendly, romantic, family etc I tend to give the other person a lot of importance and I expect the same thing from the other person...... Yeah I know that we are not supposed to expect anything from anyone, I've read millions of such quotes but is that really possible?

The journey

2009-05-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

It started like a whirlwind of happiness and excitement
When the world seemed like the best place to be
When every thing around me made me smile
Months passed like days and days like minutes.
Every cell of my brain was infected with just one thought.

Then the whirlwind calmed down and the sky was clear
Life seemed incomplete without the feeling
It had become a part of my regular life
It was an integral part of my existence.
But the excitement had been replaced by dependence.

With time the clear sky started showing some dark clouds
The regular fights, misunderstandings
But again the joy of patching up
Taking each other for granted
And committing mistakes and hurting the other person.

Then the slow dark clouds accumulated to form a thunder storm
The whole world seemed spinning and had taken a toll
Like someone had injected the hate drug in the blood
Every little mistake seemed like a humongous crime
The sight of the other person was repelling

When a whirlwind comes it always results in a thunderstorm
But when it rains slowly it ends up giving a clear sky
And bright sunlight which gives everything a new life
That is why we all love whirlwinds
But we all are scared of thunder storms.

Judgments..

2009-03-06T10:15:00.000-08:00

Oh my god! She is a slut because she has random sex with men,

Don’t talk to him, he is a junkie,

She got the promotion because she is an ass licker,

She is so well maintained, I’m sure she is a blonde!

How many times have we judged people like this before?

I am sure we do this on an everyday basis

But when other people pass such comments about us

We don’t like it.

We are always on an attempt to impress other people

Or try to do things which will make us socially acceptable.

But have we ever given it a thought why?

We always have our own convenience point,

Which we don’t cross because that’s the line we have drawn for our selves

And people who don’t do that, we persistently judge them.

Judgments are like the smoke of a cigarette,

We don’t like when we are on the receiving end

But love it when we are doing it.

But if we stop doing it,

We wouldn’t be perturbed even if people around us did it.

We often use the phrase “live and let live”

But do we ever practice it?

Some of us might be thinking that yes we do,

But on a sub conscious level we all do the exact opposite.

Knowingly or unknowingly we keep doing it,

Every moment we find something which is sporadic to our eyes.

But how hypocritical can we be,

When we see the same thing on the big screen,

Or read about such people in novels,

We don’t judge them; rather we look up to them,

Jim Morrison, Kate Winslet, Che Guevara,

We all love them don’t we?

Do we ever Judge them?

No, is the unanimous answer.

So why judge our fellas?

Just because they are not the so called “somebodies”?

Catastrophe

2009-02-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

I knew this day had to come sometime,
Like we all know that we are going to die someday.
But no matter how cynical we are, we don’t want this day to arrive,
We try all possible means to avert it, but alas something’s are just meant to be.

And now that this day has finally come, I don’t know what I should be feeling
Relieved, enraged, poignant, impaired, or should I just move on?
But I sense a mixture of them and that’s when you don’t know what to do.
Every time I try to talk to myself about it, I come up with rational solutions
But when it comes to implementing them why do I become so irrational?

But you know what the best thing about being impulsive and irrational is?
You do whatever you want to, without thinking about the consequences.
This gives you an immense transitory pleasure,
But as soon as you’re back to the real world you realize what a big pit you are in.

she's a part time sister and a full time friend

2009-01-12T11:01:00.001-08:00

She helps you with your love life,
She yells at you for not studying
You can vent out your emotions with her over a beer
And teach her how to smoke
She helps you choose the perfect dress for that special date
But alerts you about the date.

You don’t talk to her for years
But the next time you meet her
You feel like it was just yesterday that you met.
She’s the person who you can abuse and get away with
But it’s her that you admire.
Everyone, every thing around you changes
But what remains constant
Is the love and the bond you share.

Thoughts

2009-01-12T10:33:00.001-08:00

With each passing day as my life unfolds,
my cynical thoughts about life just establishes itself all the more.
The line from the very famous song “when you get what you want but not what u need”
this seems like the sole constant factor in my existence.
Because with each passing day our needs, our wants changes, and we start building our world according to these changes thinking that someday they will be fulfilled but it doesn’t take long to realize that all this was nothing but just a false utopia we were living in.
There have been nights and even days when I try and engage myself in activities which are not even remotely close to my area of interest just to prevent my self from thinking.
Because I am scared, scared of my thoughts they are like drugs the more you indulge in it the more difficult it gets to come out of it. But somehow I have realized that the only solution to this is again nothing but thinking its like, to get out one drug you have to take aid of another drug. It’s painful but then healing involves umpteen amount of pain which you have to deal with.

crazy

2008-12-04T12:25:00.000-08:00

I think I’m crazy
Crazy for you
I think I’m in love
In love with you

But then you don’t believe in love
Is that my fault?
You are attracted to me
So you can’t be my friend.

You like me you say
And that is enough for me
You can’t meet me you say
That shatters me.

I dream of you
I think of you
I talk of you
But does all this make any difference to you?

So here I ask you
What do you do?
When you are crazy
Crazy in love!

this is one of the worst poems you will ever come accross....but then i thought what the heck?

Enough is enough!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-01T07:30:00.000-08:00

At this late hour when I sit here at home without food, all alone without family, land lord and land lady risking their lives at the battle front as journalists, paranoid parents calling every two minutes I just wonder what must those people out there who are in a worse situation than I am must be facing. Just a handful of terrorists can destroy the financial capital of India our very own city of Mumbai in just 24 hours time. South Mumbai which is the most important place in this entire country, where the big daddies of India reside was just taken on a ride by a bunch of young lads?

It seems like Rambo in real life, where these young, insensitive, ruthless, mindless boys go around killing people with AK47 in their hands. It shocks me and at the same time I’m amazed by the carelessness and inefficiency of our government, the people on whom the entire country depends on. Few days ago there was a blast in the parliament and not even a single hair of the bodies of our ministers got affected (where as if I could do I would just go and kill those mother fucking illiterate assholes and I’m sure many of you will agree with me) but I’m dead sure if any of them would die or even get injured then Mumbai would not be facing such a situation today. This is the first of its kind where there has been constant attacking for 57 hours (unbelievable).

America had 9/11 once and since then there has been no attacks because the American citizens had taken up the matter in their hands and didn’t leave it to the government. But our motherland keeps getting attacked again and again but alas we the citizens do nothing about it but get angry about It and have good tea times debates, sit and write blogs (like I am), some are not bothered even to give it a second thought because they have not been affected personally and the others have moved on with their life.

The most surprising part is the insensitive, illiterate, politically incorrect comments and actions of our ministers. I mean what were they thinking when they made comments like “It was just a small attack, why should I resign?” and the chief minister goes to pay a visit to the The Taj with trashfilm maker Ram Gopal Verma and his actor son Ritesh Deshmukh im sure he went there to do field study about his sons next film which will be on this issue which is the most bankable issue right now. Not only this amidst all this our opposition party leaders have started playing their dirty politics also. I mean could anything get worse than this? Huh!

The few people who follow my blog ( don’t even know if there is one) can we please wake up and do something about the current situation of our country I mean if Rambo can take place in real life then so can Rang De Basanti!

Desire

2008-10-10T13:15:00.001-07:00

I want to hold your hand and watch the sea
I want to hug you and feel the breeze
I want to kiss you when the sun sets
And I want you to see me in that new dress

I want to be cuddled in the pool by you
I want you to hug me and teach me pool
I want you to lick the ice cream on my lip
And smile at me every time we meet.

I want to see you with the morning sun
And make breakfast together
I want to go driving with you
And the car deck playing Denver

I want to dance with you in the rain
And fall sick together
All the above things are priceless
But this is all I desire.

2008-10-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

The sandy breeze, the eternal wait
Makes me serene
The creamy cake, with RHCP in the background
Brightens my hour
The stoop of notes and the untouched books
Scares me to death
And during pujo, staying in Mumbai
Is like the icing on the cake.

I feel like breaking into tears when every time maa calls I hear the dhaker sobdo as the background music and the loud speakers playing “ aar koto raat aka thakbo”…..i have new clothes for pujo but then I have to wear them and study and go give the damn examination.
When the heart is somewhere else and the body elsewhere what does a person do?

Section 377

2008-10-02T21:33:00.000-07:00

You must be wondering what I am talking about all of a sudden straight from love affairs now I am trying my hand at the legal affairs of our country. Well I’m sure many of us are aware of this act passed by the honorable British government in the year 1863 which says……

“Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with [imprisonment for life], or with imprisonment of either description for term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation. -Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offence described in this section.”
Going by this law the Homosexuals are subject to the above penalty because unfortunately in India we cannot have our own sexual preferences and if we have them we are penalized for that and hey don’t you forget that India is a democratic country where we have all kinds of rights but our sexual rights and if you are a homosexual in India then god help you!!!!!
But as far as my knowledge and many research goes there are millions of “heterosexuals” who indulge in anal sex on a regular basis but then we never hear that they have been heavily penalized even to the extent of death for that….well if that would be the case then I’m sure most of us would have been dead or in prison by now….
India before the invasion of our demi gods, the Britishers, had vy liberated idea about sex, and come on we all know about the Khajuraho temples, The Kama Sutra (check out the one at crosswords), The Manuskriti, The Upanishads; all of these texts have the mention and glad acceptance of homosexuals but then thanks to the British government they were really good with their manipulating powers. But the irony lies here that in 2005, December same sex marriage has been legalized in the United Kingdom. So the law makers have amended the law but the liberal ones on whom the law had been imposed have internalized it now.
This issue has stirred me because this was the topic of my Public Relation presentation and after getting to know about all this I seriously feel that its high time we should do something. There are so many people I know who are homosexuals and its their way of life, they are biologically this way and they cannot help that. We cannot penalize them for that, this is heights of brutality and the I think educated people like us should do something about it but the saddest part is that the so called “straight” people like us only corner them when it comes to personal experience or confrontation. We ridicule them, mock them, laugh about them and also the word “GAY” is a very frequently used slang for the men folks “ Hey wearing a pink shirt is so gay” statements like this can be heard quite often these days. But I think with time we all have learnt to accept a lot of unjustified things in this world and this is something which is completely justified and its about many peoples life, if not love them we shouldn’t condemn them as well. They are normal people like us just that they prefer their same sex when it comes to love and making out, ( if that helps).

2008-08-08T06:58:00.000-07:00

My poetic self has taken a stoll now, which resulted in the last three disastrous poems, please pardon me if u had a torturous time reading them.

The pleasant surprise

2008-08-08T06:53:00.001-07:00

Nothing about the day was unusual,
The early morning class; the swarming bus; the mind-numbing lectures and my messed up life;
But very little did I know that sometimes life has some special gifts for you
When you need them the most

Sitting in the canteen with my only friend in this alien land,
We were waiting for the cinema lecture to commence
When a thought came to mind, “Why not visit the most picturesque place of the city” Where the waves hit the rocks like there was no tomorrow amidst the couples cozying up in the sand.

Every thing was perfect, the weather, the sea, but me.
Till I glanced someone sitting by the shore staring at the waves like a kid staring at a mansion of clay,
My heart skipped a beat and my knee grew weak.
The endearing “hey” accompanied with a warm smile was just enough to make my day.

The great mystery called love.....

2008-08-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

It’s past midnight and here I sit down and wonder
Is there anything in this world to stay for ever?
I guess no, that is why death is the only bona fide
Death of emotion; death of love; death of friendship,
And hence everything goes to slumber.

The love of a young maiden is raw and crude
It is as simple as the morning bird’s song,
But simplicity is not what people seek.
Alas, the morning bird is not treasured but the nightingale is,
So the young maiden sits and broods.

A little birdie sits over her slender shoulder,
Whispers “love is a mystery that not a soul can solve”
But she still sits and tries to figure out the puzzle of love and life
Till she hears a faint voice singing at the other corner of the land
“Wise men say, only fools rush in……”
Thus both the cries grow fainter.

People who have left me last year....

2008-08-04T02:15:00.000-07:00

Dadubhai ( Grandfather) :
From the day I gained consciousness, the day I learned to recognize people around me the few people I had known were ma, papa, dadubhai and amma and this is what I called my family. Eighteen years of my life had passed this way, dadubhai never wanted me to come into this world, as in he wanted a grandson and not a granddaughter, and definitely not a brown skinned grand daughter. So he was pretty unhappy with my birth but then eventually when to tend to live with someone it’s difficult not to like that person (for him I was a kid and it’s even more difficult to dislike an innocent creature). As they say small children are very sensitive towards the people who like them and people whom they like, they are like dogs who can sniff and tell you weather the person likes you or doesn’t. So even I had figured out that very early in my life. Later on the feeling had become mutual.

Slowly when I grew up he didn’t like most of the things I did right from the kind of clothes I wore ; the language I spoke; the way I was pampered by my parents; then came my guy friends and finally my boy friend ( who has dumped me now).

But in spite of all this there was some kind of love also blooming, as they say u can only hate a person if you have some kind of love for that person. This was pretty strange but now when I think about it, it was actually beautiful and nice. Dadubhai loved the fact that I was passionate about cooking (this is one activity that girls from conservative Bengali family should learn) since childhood when no one in the family let me enter the kitchen because they thought I would burn myself. Hence he would always encourage me in this and he was the first and many a times the only person to taste the end product of my experiment (which was usually great). He used to pick me up everyday from the bus stop when I came back from school (he did this because he used to go for his evening walk to the same place and also later on so that he could keep an eye on me). He had diabetes so no one allowed him to have sweets in the house and we both had a sweet tooth so he used to take me to a sweet shop every evening to have our favorite sweet nalen gurer sondesh ( a bengali delicacy).

The day he left all of us and went (don’t know where heaven or hell), I had tears in my eyes. Thou in the past many a times I wished for this day to come as early as possible and I thought that would be my happiest day, contradictory to my thought it wasn’t so.

I never thought I would be able to say this but dadubhai I seriously miss you when ever I go back home and see your bed empty with no one sitting there and watching all the Bengali serials in a row; when I don’t feel scared to bring my friends at any point of the day at home; when I don’t have to worry about the people who call on my land line. I’m sorry for the times I have hurt you but then it’s better late than never.

Fuldadu ( grandmothers sisters husband)
What shall I say about him, when I felt that I was not loved enough by my grandfather, this person made me realize that I was loved by him. I used to visit him quite a number of times in the year and he was a person not only loved by me but by every one who has ever had the privilege to know him. All his good deeds probably sum up to his two brilliant and extremely successful sons. He was extremely knowledgeable and whenever I had any problem with any subject the first person I went to was him. He always appreciated me, watched all my dance performances, be it on television, DVD or live. He always took keen interest in what was happening in my life and was always ready with a solution.
Last week suddenly when ma told me about that horrifying incident of his sudden death I couldn’t bear the shock. I still can’t believe that he is not there with us any more. I don’t know what else to write, probably when you feel very deeply for someone even words are not enough.

The first meeting..

2008-07-29T05:44:00.000-07:00

My life was mundane and boring, but at ease
Your one hello turned my world upside down to make it cease
My hormones which were otherwise latent became active
Only to make my life all the more complicated
In the face of all this my mind refused to operate
Because by then my heart was in charge of my veins

Days passed and my heart started growing weaker
My adrenalin shot up to the sky
To add on to it, my close friend told me “he is a game player”
Very little did she know about the games my heart had already started playing.
His gentle touch and his sinful kiss was like bliss
And this feeling was nothing but enthralling.

Home

2008-07-27T02:43:00.000-07:00

Home, sweet home is a very well known phrase which we frequently used in our day to day lives. Yes, indeed home is very sweet and warm, these qualities differentiate it from a mere brick house. As a student i donot own a house and the fact that im staying away from my family, i cant call their house mine either. So I'm like this stray bird who keeps juggling from one nest to other based on her own convenience. But inspite of all this i try weeving a small world of mine in all the places that i shift.
Home I feel is more of a feeling of belongingness for a place than the house itself. So home for me is the city of Mumbai which gives me an immense sense of comfort and has accepted me the way i am. Mumbai has given me everything which kolkata hasnt but Mumbai can't give me many things which kolkata can for instance my family, my loved ones and people who care for me. Mumbai has made me the person i am today, not the irrational, vindictive spoilt brat that i used to be in Kolkata, with a caring parents and an irritating little brother. Mumbai has tought me the lesson of life as well as forced me to restrict myself. I have immense freedom here but its upto me at the end of the day what i want to do and choose to be.

Thank you Mumbai ( not thanking the CM thou..lolz)

Comeback

2008-07-27T02:23:00.000-07:00

Its been more than a decade since ive posted something, well shall i say my life was boring all this while or shall i say i was too busy. Nevertheless, today i finally thought of typing down something on my favourite place, my blog.....
I promise ill be regular from now on with my posts....

2007-11-30T06:28:00.000-08:00

This marked the beginning of their obsession for each other……eventually raunak proposed raina and the obvious answer was awaiting……They gradually got used to each others company , there was not a single hour when they didn’t talk to each other. Raina used to stay moderately far off from raunaks place but then after almost a year their family shifted close by to raunaks place. Both of them were on the seventh heaven….They met up everyday for hours and hours, initially they never fought with each other, they were like the best , cutest and the most talked about couple in the school circuit.Everybody came to know about their relationship including their parents and relatives.Raunak first went Rainas place on saraswati puja so he was dressed up in Indian attire and undoubtedly looked very handsome and with his innocent face and charming personality he impressed rainas mother and family.Raina went to Raunaks place on the same day in a saree and even she had created quite an impression on Raunaks mother, with her friendly, childlike and lovable nature.The only person who was ignorant about the affair was Rainas father, and in due course even he came to know about their affair……That week was a week of utter anxiety in Rainas family because her father though himself had a love marriage was very conservative and orthodox when it came to his daughter and wife. Raina never had the courage to talk about any boy with her father so this was a drastic step for her.But after a week ultimately the strict father had to bend down in front of his daughters wishes…..Her father invited Raunaks family for dinner at their place and with time both the families developed a good relationship among themselves.

Everything was going their way now, their families had accepted their relationship to an extent that even they started thinking that both will land up getting married, in fact not only the families but even their friends and other who knew them.Both of them were very popular in their own ways……Now that every problem was solved arouse problems among themselves, as they say the journey of life is never smooth. The couple that never fought started fighting with each other on a regular basis and the main reason of their fights were their insecurity for each other. They both got lot of male and female attention, which they both enjoyed but neither Raunak nor Raina could bear the fact that their better halves were getting that much attention….They both had a tremendous fear of loosing each other which was good in one way because this was the binding factor between both of them. They forgot that they both were just 17 and all this was natural…The two kids started behaving like grown up adults…….They kept on having never ending fights, and had their own share of infidelity which was not exactly that unsmiling, but they portrayed that as if there could have been no crime bigger than that.

Finally they had given their board examinations and the alarm bell rang …..It was time for true test…….Raunak got through Singapore and Raina was planning to get admitted in a college in mumbai, she wanted to do media.But the thought of getting separated from each other haunted raina and she couldn’t bear that….She was ready to go to any state and study…..she just wanted raunak to stay back…..she expressed her frustration by fighting with him, but it was just anather emotional vent. Nights after nights she used to have dreams of Raunak going away to Singapore and dating some hot girl there.She used to cry , go under depression, she was not worried about her own self but she kept on thinking about where Raunak would go…..Raunak had filled up forms in Delhi University but he was determined about Singapore , so raina to take revenge filled up forms in mumbai…..But finally Raunak went to Delhi……..Raina was the happiest person in the world that day, she was on seventh heaven……She thought that any how she will get admitted in any college in delhi, she started calling up every college of delhi, asked her parenst to use every possible contacts, in the mean while the results of the mumbai colleges came out and she lied to her parents that she didn’t get through any college when she actually did.She took the risk, finally her dad agreed to send her to a private college in delhi to study media…everything was set and done, the flight tickets were booked.The night before they were leaving for delhi her dad came in and showed her few slips……He found out the university he was sending her to was a fraud one.It didn’t have affiliation and it was the most unsafe place for girls. For Raina the world had come to an end, there was nothing beyond that.She fought with her parents, she stopped having food, went out of the house, she had gone insane.Raunak on the other hand could not understand the situation there in kolkata….After 3 days Rainas aunt called up and said that she got through the best college in mumbai for media , this was the college she had dreamt of going to. But raina wasn’t happy, she didn’t want to go, her parents forced her, she had spent a lot of money for this admission procedure in mumbai. So out of compulsion and with utter disagreement she went to mumbai. After that there grew a huge distance between them.Raunak misunderstood raina, so he started avoiding her, he barely called her up and kept his cell switched off all day and night. Raina was in a girls college where was Raunak in a co –ed college, this was a constant headache for raina. She kept on getting depressed with every passing day, She used to skip her lunches and save up 120 bucks each day to call Raunak up, but then his phone was always switched off. She finally took out all the money she had from the ATM and bought two and fro tickets for raunak to come to mumbai because she couldn’t go to delhi.They had a deadline at their pg and her pg aunty was a bitch. The day before raunak was coming to mumbai he made excuses of not being able to come, this made raina go mad and crazy. But finally he came and they spend 2 whole days with each other.These two days were the happiest moments of rainas life, she went to all the beaches she wanted to go with raunak , but somehow she got a cold feeling from raunaks side.This killed het from inside, she was very egoistic, she started talking to random people on orkut to make him jealous, and raunak the way he is got jealous. Raunak was going to kolkata for the pujas but she had her semesters right after that, her parents didn’t want her to come to kolkata then.She didn’t tell anybody, she bout a flight ticket to kolkata with all the money she had and went to kolkata and right from the time she landed, they started fighting with each other. Her dad didn’t talk to her for a single day in her stay in kolkata , her mother was also very annoyed with her.She went back to mumbai just before the day her semster began and she was not prepared at all. Raunak kept fighting with her during ger semesters because of some rumour he heard about her and she kept crying and screwed her exam.She thought of breaking up with him this time after a very cheap action of raunak.That day she lost all respect for raunak but she still loved him a lot, she dint know why. When she went back to kolkata this time Raunak sat all night below her house and kept apologising, Raina couldn’t stop herself and again again went back to him. The next few days they again started behaving like a lovey dovey couple but but then Raunak had to go away to delhi. She was left all alone in kolkata again, but here she ahd many friends, After few days she got introduced to a guy who was her room mates friend…..She wanted to hook her friend and that guy up……So she started to talking to the guy….But raunak had again started his ignoring sessions once he reached delhi and kept suspecting her for very menial reasons….She started conversing with this boy on a regular basis when suddenly one day she said that she was frustrated with raunak to the new friend, and after listening to the whole situation like every other opportunist this boy told her that she was making the right decision….And in the mean while he proposed raina , raina thought he was very good and he could be a good to date, she was not attracted to him but she thought she was….While all this was happening in kolkata, there was a completely different scene going on at Delhi, raunak was planning to come to kolkata to meet her……When she heard that she was overwhelmed but by then she had been manipulated also….She was in dual mind…..She didn’t know what to do……In this confusion she landed up hurting the man of her life, the boy whom she loved more than herself, the boy about whom she was obsessed…….He cried in front of her , but she kept re-collecting her bad experiences with him and forgot about all the happy moments…..Raunaks parents started hating her and so did raunak…..She didn’t even say yes to the other guy and finally she turned out to be the looser.Because the very next day after she broke up she called raunak to say that she loved him and wanted to patch up…Raunaks friends abused the shit out of her……

Both of them went back to their respective cities……..Raina kept trying, she didn’t loose hope,Raunak finally patched up also, but then for some lame, insignificant reason, he broke up with her. He needed an excuse to breakup…..He changed his number, insulted her in front of his female friends and they never spoke to each other again……………

cont.....

2007-11-28T21:48:00.000-08:00

The next Sunday again Raina goes to the tutorial for giving her mock test as usual, and to her great astonishment she found Raunak sitting there on one corner of the room. She was pleasantly surprised, and quietly came into the room and sat down. Raunak smiled at her and she smiled back…….They both were happy to see each other, but the only difference was that Raina had nor expected this meet and Raunak had planned this meet, because Raunak never came on Sunday to give the tests….his scheduled date was saterday….last Sunday he had come by chance. They both wanted to strike a conversation with each other but were too egoistic in their own ways to do so till Sundari came in. Raina had her school fest the previous night, so she started discussing about it with sundari, that is when Raunak made a call to his friend and started narrating his bad experience in the same fest last night. Raina heard that and the moment raunak gung up she charged him and hence they both started a conversation. They spoke about music, books, the mock test, their school and many other things…….Raunak was happily flirting in his own smooth manner and raina reciprocated, she asked him weather he was dating anybody and he said that there was no girl who he liked. So she asked him about the kind of girls he liked and pat came the reply “ I like dusky gilrs with beautiful eyes”…Sundari kicked raina on her legs immediately….Finally they both landed up with a blank paper, both either of them were least bothered. Raunak asked raina for her yahoo chat id and she gave it without any hesitation.

Riana went home, had her lunch and afternoon nap and went online like yet another lazy Sunday evening and suddenly a yahoo chat window pops in her computer screen

Rickyb: hey im raunak from tution
Raina: ohhhh hey…..

Raunak went home and the first thing he did was to add Raina, he had logged in from his phone to check when she comes online, so the moment he saw her online he started chatting. Thus they kept chatting for hours, and on a happier note, raina had a web cam in her computer so Raunak could even see her.They kept flirting with eacvh other when finally after 4 days Raunak asked Raina……..

Rickyb: I really like a girl a lot and I don’t know how to ask her out on a date, you are a girl can you tell me how do I go about it?
Raina: well how is the girl? I mean if she is frank and a good friend of yours by now then ask her directly….I’m sure she will say a yes.
Raunak:Ohhhkkkk are you sure????? The girl is very sweet and pretty and very frank also…..
Riana: Fine then whats the problem go ahead and ask her out….
Raunak:Hey chocolate babe will you come on a date with me? Look now you cant refuse, because u said she will say yes….
Raina:hehehehe….very clever huh!..ok fine I will….

Then finally they go out on their first date……They saw two movies back to back, king kong and kalyug ……then they went to ccd and Raunak with his usual smoothness started flirting.They played the eye game and had kept a reprimand of a kiss each.So each time any one of them lost they kissed each other on their cheek. Then Raunak said if one looses thrice in a row then the penalty is a smooch.So finally Raina had her first kiss and Raunak his 100th or so…..in a cab. Raina was nervous, excited, got butterflies in her stomach, frightened but she was so attracted to him that she could not refuse it either………

Cont…..

story....untitled

2007-11-26T02:30:00.000-08:00

It is a chilly December morning and Kolkata has never looked more beautiful, with glacial wind nerve-racking the spines. It is the perfect atmosphere to laze under the blanket and gaze at the birds outside your window with a cup of steaming hot lemon masala tea. Raina is sitting all alone in a closed room of a tutorial to give a mock test for which she is not prepared at all. Her eye lids are heavy and are on the verge of closing, her long purplish black, straight hair which is usually open is tied into a high pony, her pink and white pullover is just not enough to comfort her in that temperature, there is a trace of smudged kohl in her dark black almond shaped eyes and her dusky completion has become dry due to lack of her daily dose of nivea.

Her only friend in the tutorial, Sundari comes with a big “hey”, raina wonders from where Sundari got the energy this morning, because usually it’s the other way round. They start having their usual conversation about how badly they were prepared for the mock test when a tall, fair guy with a dimple chin, droopy eyes and red lips comes in. He was not a familiar face to both of them, so both looked at each other. The guy was wearing a red pull over which made his fair completion look even more fair, with baggy pants and a black string pink floyd bag on his shoulder. He looked like one of those good looking rich brats who came for the sake of giving the mock test to the tutorial. He came and sat right in front of Raina, for the first time the two girls got to see an eye candy in the tutorial. The two of them started giggling like those dumb blondes who giggle at the slightest instant, like when a guy sneezes loudly and other such lame instances. The invigilator came in to distribute the booklets, when a deep voice said “ I don’t have a watch”, and the invigilator said that she will come after every 25 minutes to let him know the time, saying this she went out of the room. The three of them started writing the paper , after five minutes the boy asked raina “Do you have a watch?” ………….Raina said “yes , I do”. He said ok that means I don’t have to bother her anymore, and he started writing the paper. He was looking at raina though the corner of his eyes, which raina noticed. After a while Raina asked him if he had a claculator…. and he gave it to her. It was a four hours paper and 2 hours had already past, when suddenly the boy goes out. Raina notices that and after some time when she saw that he didn’t arrive she also made a move. She went out of the tutorial and was waiting for her car to come when suddenly she notices the same boy smoking a cigarette and engrossed in some deep thought. She was too snobbish to go up and talk to him, so she made herself noticed to the boy. The boy tried to be a gentleman for a change and hid the cigarette behind him and said “You are going away so soon? Did you complete your paper?” Raina said that she didn’t feel like sitting back for the test. He walked up to her and let his hand out and said “ raunak” with a heavy accent and raina did the same but without any accent………..he asked her weather she was waiting for some one to which she replied that she was waiting for her car …..He asked her which school she was froma and she asked him the same……It was one of those formal conversations which occur when a guy and a girl meet…..Raina said she knew one guy from his school and from his class who happened to be her cousin……finally raina said a bye and walked away…………She found him cute but thought that he might not like her because he seemed to be those guyz who liked the typical blonde. Raina always had a misconception that fair guyz always like fair girls and not dusky girls, she basically suffered from an inferiority complex.

On the other hand Raunak found her to be very attractive and he was already planning how he could get hold of her cousin in his school and fix a date with her. Raunak was a big and a pretty famous Casanova so he started chocking out his plan.
Cont…

Letter to Ma..

2007-11-25T23:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Ma,
It is really strange to write letters to people who are so close to you, if not physically but mentally.But there are some things which are better written than said.All this while that i was there with you in kolkata i didnt realise your importance but now that I'm not there with you, i understand your importance.You are the person who has shaped up my personality, and helped me grow as a girl, daughter,friend and even a girl friend.I'm really very lucky to be a pampered child, there are many friends of mine who are neglected, but trust me i never felt neglected for any moment in my life.

I still remember when i was a toddler and you had your university examinations, Instead of revising your syllabus on the very morning you were busy preparing my breakfast , my juice and my lunch.I didnt have any tution teacher till my high school, you taught me each and every subject.The moment i used to return from school and you from work , you used to sit with me to teach me, I hated it then but now i really miss it, I miss studying in front of you and depending on you to prepare me for my exams.When Arko was born I was very jealous because of the fear of being neglected but trust me you never let me feel left out, that is probably beacause you love me more than him and even if you dont i love to think that way.When i had my first crush youcame to know about it from your secret spy cum our chauffer, You were the one to break the ice and explain me things instead of getting mad at me like most parents.You can't imagine how embarraced i was but then that day i got my best friend in you.It is such a blessing to have a best friend in your mother.

Ma i really miss you a lot in Mumbai, now when you call me i don't talk much, but trust me i have a lot to share with you.I crave for those small on and off conversations that we had of which papa was extremely jealous.I love you a lot ma, You complete me.

Love
Urmi[shrimoyee]

Introduction to my new life

2007-11-25T23:05:00.000-08:00

My last post was filled with questions which are finally answered and thing have pretty much gone in my favour.At last i realised that life is not all that cruel.

So finally I'm in Mumbai, Sophia college doing bachelors of media management [this is what i always wanted to do].Rick didnt go to singapore but Delhi and he is doing Economics honers.We are no longer dating each other and Rick blames me for stopping him from going to singapore.Though i didnt do anything of that sort [At least i feel that way].No one can stop any one from doing anything.

So this is the current state of my life.All this while i was irregular in updating my blog becuase i was busy setteling my life and yes trying to adjust in this cosmopolitan city, which has everything but warmth.I shouldnt be complaining, beacause it was me who choose to come here, rather was determined to come here.

But in all I'm enjoying my new life.

letter to god...

2007-01-11T04:11:00.000-08:00

Dear God,
I'm shrimoyee,as they say that you are the almighty and you know all your creations so you muct be knowing me too,and im sure that you also know in what state im right now.Five moths from now nobody knows where im going to land,what im going to do,or rather will i do anything atall.But im sure you have all the answers to my question,so here i throw in front of you a volley of questions and i need all the answers from you.

So here it goes....
1.How will i fare in my board examination?]
2.Will i get into any of the good colleges of Delhi or Mumbai?
3.What will happen to my love life,will our relationship last?
4.Will i be doing what i want to do[media]or will i do something else?
5.Will Rick go to Singapore or will he stay here?
6.And on a lighter note if he dumps me ,will i get a cute boy frnd?

I would be extremely thankful to you if i get the answers to all my above questions.[as they say in formal letters].

yours faithfully,
shrimoyee

Love..

2006-11-11T11:01:00.000-08:00

I was sitting on the beach,thinking about you.
Arose a question in my mind,
how much do i love you?
Looking at the waves hitting the shore,
some touching phrases came out of the core.
How the waves love the shore!
Is that the way i love you?

I looked at the sun in search of you,
I also peeped at the morning dew,
I search you here,i search you there,
But i see you always everywhere.
Even at the sea that i stare.
Is that the way i love you?

Before the sun could see me
And along with the morning dew
I saw something amazing,
To my eyes it was new.
Two white doves looking at each others eyes,
without moving or being shy,
Promised to be togethar or die.
Is that the way i love you?

And then i remembered what you said,
When the wind through my hair blew.
Hpw much you loved me sometime back,
And how much that love grew.
You kept on saying"You know you are mine,till the end of world,till the end of time!"
At last i felt,on the sand while lying,
This is the way i love you!

2006-11-11T10:26:00.000-08:00

The one month of my singleton got over within a week[infact it wasnt there].My life is in a mess now,my boards are after 4 months and still nowIdnt feel like studying.Infact i want to study but some how i cant.These coming 4 months are going to decide my future,and i seriously need to gear up now.But i somehow cannot study, i still donot have any sort of tention about my boards,though i know that if i dont get a minimum of 80% no good college is going to take me.I want to get into any top college of India,because i till date i have always been in the best schools and now im in such a state that i cannot survive in collges like jogomaya or south city[no offence].On top of that my boy friend tells he has to go away to singapore for his higher studies ,he has his career and i seriously dont want him to sacrifise his career for me[why should he?]But i know,that its kind of impossible for me to imagine my life without him[though my life is not as rosy as it seems to be].Everyone has to move on in life,even i will have to.

Its high time i have to seriously start studying from nowonwards,these 4 months i have to devote to myself and build up my career.I love rick and so does he but this love will not be there if after 4 months im in a crappy college,with no future.I want to be famous but i donot no the path.lord please show me thy light.

The next one month.....

2006-10-22T08:21:00.000-07:00

22 october,2006

Today I told raunak that I want a break from this relationship for a month or so,this was a very difficult decision for me to take at this point of time but I cudnt help it,I had to do this for the sake of our relationship.Our relationship was going thru such a phase that it was becoming difficult for us to stand each other.And I seriously donot want to become so frustated that a time comes when I would even hate talking to him.I love him and I even no that he does...so I thought the best way to save our relationship was to take a break from each other and see how much we miss each others company.Raunak is not trying to understand the situation,he has already called me twice and sent me 3 txts but I was firm[thou it was a very tuff thing to do].

And on a lighter note im single for the next one month!!!!![watch it guyzzz].

Intoduction

2006-10-17T00:04:00.001-07:00

Dear readers,

Let me introduce myself to you.....

Im Shrimoyee,as my name suggests im a girl,im seventeen years old.My blog name tells u that im basically a very simple person and if you are expecting some very high profile intellectual blog from me then im very sorry.Here you will mainly get to read about my life in very simple and clear language[u dont hv 2 sit with a dictionary].This is my second attemt to create a blog and i hope i will be able 2 maintain it as im very irregular,and frickle minded.So heres wishing me all the best for this blog.I would be thankful to god if i get atleast a handfull of readers because my blog is nothing over the top but i guess it wont be that boring also.

Shrimoyee.