I haven’t written for a long time, and the reason being is I didn’t feel like or may be I was too engrossed in my new life. The life I had dreamt of far away from my homeland in a beautiful country, a country of opportunities (at least that’s what I thought it would be). But now it’s been very nearly four months and I have settled down emotionally and in the flesh here. Made new friends, slowly built a new home for myself with new people. Hence my mind started working again because my dream is over now and I am back to reality.
I have this little spot in front of my window where I sit and smoke and have been doing that since I have arrived here but unexpectedly I realized I had a similar corner in my own house where I did the same. But when I look outside the views are completely different but they have a very uncanny similarity as well. Probably I noticed this today because its holiday time and every one’s leaving for their home town, going back to meet their family and loved ones for Christmas excepting me. Because I decided to spend Christmas here in England, spend a white Christmas with snow like I had always seen in the movies. I wanted to live a dream I had dreamt of while I was home. But when I see all these people going back to their family and I see myself stuck here with out my family or any of the new friends I have made I realize that Christmas is not about a white or a brown Christmas its about spending time in the arms of your family amidst all the people who love you and know you. I keep having arguments with people about how they get affected by commercialization or the portrayal of life on celluloid, which is far from reality, and I thought I was on the other side of the fence where I was unaffected by all these. But ironically I am no different I also fall in the same herd and get affected by every aspect of commercialization.
Having said that, I know I couldn’t have survived in this alien country alone during Christmas without the company of a very special person who is making all the efforts to make me feel at home and bring a smile to my face every time I feel that I am wedged here without my family.