Thursday, December 04, 2008


I think I’m crazy
Crazy for you
I think I’m in love
In love with you

But then you don’t believe in love
Is that my fault?
You are attracted to me
So you can’t be my friend.

You like me you say
And that is enough for me
You can’t meet me you say
That shatters me.

I dream of you
I think of you
I talk of you
But does all this make any difference to you?

So here I ask you
What do you do?
When you are crazy
Crazy in love!

this is one of the worst poems you will ever come accross....but then i thought what the heck?

Monday, December 01, 2008

Enough is enough!!!!!!!!!!!!

At this late hour when I sit here at home without food, all alone without family, land lord and land lady risking their lives at the battle front as journalists, paranoid parents calling every two minutes I just wonder what must those people out there who are in a worse situation than I am must be facing. Just a handful of terrorists can destroy the financial capital of India our very own city of Mumbai in just 24 hours time. South Mumbai which is the most important place in this entire country, where the big daddies of India reside was just taken on a ride by a bunch of young lads?

It seems like Rambo in real life, where these young, insensitive, ruthless, mindless boys go around killing people with AK47 in their hands. It shocks me and at the same time I’m amazed by the carelessness and inefficiency of our government, the people on whom the entire country depends on. Few days ago there was a blast in the parliament and not even a single hair of the bodies of our ministers got affected (where as if I could do I would just go and kill those mother fucking illiterate assholes and I’m sure many of you will agree with me) but I’m dead sure if any of them would die or even get injured then Mumbai would not be facing such a situation today. This is the first of its kind where there has been constant attacking for 57 hours (unbelievable).

America had 9/11 once and since then there has been no attacks because the American citizens had taken up the matter in their hands and didn’t leave it to the government. But our motherland keeps getting attacked again and again but alas we the citizens do nothing about it but get angry about It and have good tea times debates, sit and write blogs (like I am), some are not bothered even to give it a second thought because they have not been affected personally and the others have moved on with their life.

The most surprising part is the insensitive, illiterate, politically incorrect comments and actions of our ministers. I mean what were they thinking when they made comments like “It was just a small attack, why should I resign?” and the chief minister goes to pay a visit to the The Taj with trashfilm maker Ram Gopal Verma and his actor son Ritesh Deshmukh im sure he went there to do field study about his sons next film which will be on this issue which is the most bankable issue right now. Not only this amidst all this our opposition party leaders have started playing their dirty politics also. I mean could anything get worse than this? Huh!

The few people who follow my blog ( don’t even know if there is one) can we please wake up and do something about the current situation of our country I mean if Rambo can take place in real life then so can Rang De Basanti!

Friday, October 10, 2008


I want to hold your hand and watch the sea
I want to hug you and feel the breeze
I want to kiss you when the sun sets
And I want you to see me in that new dress

I want to be cuddled in the pool by you
I want you to hug me and teach me pool
I want you to lick the ice cream on my lip
And smile at me every time we meet.

I want to see you with the morning sun
And make breakfast together
I want to go driving with you
And the car deck playing Denver

I want to dance with you in the rain
And fall sick together
All the above things are priceless
But this is all I desire.

Friday, October 03, 2008

The sandy breeze, the eternal wait
Makes me serene
The creamy cake, with RHCP in the background
Brightens my hour
The stoop of notes and the untouched books
Scares me to death
And during pujo, staying in Mumbai
Is like the icing on the cake.

I feel like breaking into tears when every time maa calls I hear the dhaker sobdo as the background music and the loud speakers playing “ aar koto raat aka thakbo”…..i have new clothes for pujo but then I have to wear them and study and go give the damn examination.
When the heart is somewhere else and the body elsewhere what does a person do?

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Section 377

You must be wondering what I am talking about all of a sudden straight from love affairs now I am trying my hand at the legal affairs of our country. Well I’m sure many of us are aware of this act passed by the honorable British government in the year 1863 which says……

“Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with [imprisonment for life], or with imprisonment of either description for term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation. -Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offence described in this section.”
Going by this law the Homosexuals are subject to the above penalty because unfortunately in India we cannot have our own sexual preferences and if we have them we are penalized for that and hey don’t you forget that India is a democratic country where we have all kinds of rights but our sexual rights and if you are a homosexual in India then god help you!!!!!
But as far as my knowledge and many research goes there are millions of “heterosexuals” who indulge in anal sex on a regular basis but then we never hear that they have been heavily penalized even to the extent of death for that….well if that would be the case then I’m sure most of us would have been dead or in prison by now….
India before the invasion of our demi gods, the Britishers, had vy liberated idea about sex, and come on we all know about the Khajuraho temples, The Kama Sutra (check out the one at crosswords), The Manuskriti, The Upanishads; all of these texts have the mention and glad acceptance of homosexuals but then thanks to the British government they were really good with their manipulating powers. But the irony lies here that in 2005, December same sex marriage has been legalized in the United Kingdom. So the law makers have amended the law but the liberal ones on whom the law had been imposed have internalized it now.
This issue has stirred me because this was the topic of my Public Relation presentation and after getting to know about all this I seriously feel that its high time we should do something. There are so many people I know who are homosexuals and its their way of life, they are biologically this way and they cannot help that. We cannot penalize them for that, this is heights of brutality and the I think educated people like us should do something about it but the saddest part is that the so called “straight” people like us only corner them when it comes to personal experience or confrontation. We ridicule them, mock them, laugh about them and also the word “GAY” is a very frequently used slang for the men folks “ Hey wearing a pink shirt is so gay” statements like this can be heard quite often these days. But I think with time we all have learnt to accept a lot of unjustified things in this world and this is something which is completely justified and its about many peoples life, if not love them we shouldn’t condemn them as well. They are normal people like us just that they prefer their same sex when it comes to love and making out, ( if that helps).

Friday, August 08, 2008

My poetic self has taken a stoll now, which resulted in the last three disastrous poems, please pardon me if u had a torturous time reading them.

The pleasant surprise

Nothing about the day was unusual,
The early morning class; the swarming bus; the mind-numbing lectures and my messed up life;
But very little did I know that sometimes life has some special gifts for you
When you need them the most

Sitting in the canteen with my only friend in this alien land,
We were waiting for the cinema lecture to commence
When a thought came to mind, “Why not visit the most picturesque place of the city” Where the waves hit the rocks like there was no tomorrow amidst the couples cozying up in the sand.

Every thing was perfect, the weather, the sea, but me.
Till I glanced someone sitting by the shore staring at the waves like a kid staring at a mansion of clay,
My heart skipped a beat and my knee grew weak.
The endearing “hey” accompanied with a warm smile was just enough to make my day.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The great mystery called love.....

It’s past midnight and here I sit down and wonder
Is there anything in this world to stay for ever?
I guess no, that is why death is the only bona fide
Death of emotion; death of love; death of friendship,
And hence everything goes to slumber.

The love of a young maiden is raw and crude
It is as simple as the morning bird’s song,
But simplicity is not what people seek.
Alas, the morning bird is not treasured but the nightingale is,
So the young maiden sits and broods.

A little birdie sits over her slender shoulder,
Whispers “love is a mystery that not a soul can solve”
But she still sits and tries to figure out the puzzle of love and life
Till she hears a faint voice singing at the other corner of the land
“Wise men say, only fools rush in……”
Thus both the cries grow fainter.

Monday, August 04, 2008

People who have left me last year....

Dadubhai ( Grandfather) :
From the day I gained consciousness, the day I learned to recognize people around me the few people I had known were ma, papa, dadubhai and amma and this is what I called my family. Eighteen years of my life had passed this way, dadubhai never wanted me to come into this world, as in he wanted a grandson and not a granddaughter, and definitely not a brown skinned grand daughter. So he was pretty unhappy with my birth but then eventually when to tend to live with someone it’s difficult not to like that person (for him I was a kid and it’s even more difficult to dislike an innocent creature). As they say small children are very sensitive towards the people who like them and people whom they like, they are like dogs who can sniff and tell you weather the person likes you or doesn’t. So even I had figured out that very early in my life. Later on the feeling had become mutual.

Slowly when I grew up he didn’t like most of the things I did right from the kind of clothes I wore ; the language I spoke; the way I was pampered by my parents; then came my guy friends and finally my boy friend ( who has dumped me now).

But in spite of all this there was some kind of love also blooming, as they say u can only hate a person if you have some kind of love for that person. This was pretty strange but now when I think about it, it was actually beautiful and nice. Dadubhai loved the fact that I was passionate about cooking (this is one activity that girls from conservative Bengali family should learn) since childhood when no one in the family let me enter the kitchen because they thought I would burn myself. Hence he would always encourage me in this and he was the first and many a times the only person to taste the end product of my experiment (which was usually great). He used to pick me up everyday from the bus stop when I came back from school (he did this because he used to go for his evening walk to the same place and also later on so that he could keep an eye on me). He had diabetes so no one allowed him to have sweets in the house and we both had a sweet tooth so he used to take me to a sweet shop every evening to have our favorite sweet nalen gurer sondesh ( a bengali delicacy).

The day he left all of us and went (don’t know where heaven or hell), I had tears in my eyes. Thou in the past many a times I wished for this day to come as early as possible and I thought that would be my happiest day, contradictory to my thought it wasn’t so.

I never thought I would be able to say this but dadubhai I seriously miss you when ever I go back home and see your bed empty with no one sitting there and watching all the Bengali serials in a row; when I don’t feel scared to bring my friends at any point of the day at home; when I don’t have to worry about the people who call on my land line. I’m sorry for the times I have hurt you but then it’s better late than never.

Fuldadu ( grandmothers sisters husband)
What shall I say about him, when I felt that I was not loved enough by my grandfather, this person made me realize that I was loved by him. I used to visit him quite a number of times in the year and he was a person not only loved by me but by every one who has ever had the privilege to know him. All his good deeds probably sum up to his two brilliant and extremely successful sons. He was extremely knowledgeable and whenever I had any problem with any subject the first person I went to was him. He always appreciated me, watched all my dance performances, be it on television, DVD or live. He always took keen interest in what was happening in my life and was always ready with a solution.
Last week suddenly when ma told me about that horrifying incident of his sudden death I couldn’t bear the shock. I still can’t believe that he is not there with us any more. I don’t know what else to write, probably when you feel very deeply for someone even words are not enough.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The first meeting..

My life was mundane and boring, but at ease
Your one hello turned my world upside down to make it cease
My hormones which were otherwise latent became active
Only to make my life all the more complicated
In the face of all this my mind refused to operate
Because by then my heart was in charge of my veins

Days passed and my heart started growing weaker
My adrenalin shot up to the sky
To add on to it, my close friend told me “he is a game player”
Very little did she know about the games my heart had already started playing.
His gentle touch and his sinful kiss was like bliss
And this feeling was nothing but enthralling.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Home, sweet home is a very well known phrase which we frequently used in our day to day lives. Yes, indeed home is very sweet and warm, these qualities differentiate it from a mere brick house. As a student i donot own a house and the fact that im staying away from my family, i cant call their house mine either. So I'm like this stray bird who keeps juggling from one nest to other based on her own convenience. But inspite of all this i try weeving a small world of mine in all the places that i shift.
Home I feel is more of a feeling of belongingness for a place than the house itself. So home for me is the city of Mumbai which gives me an immense sense of comfort and has accepted me the way i am. Mumbai has given me everything which kolkata hasnt but Mumbai can't give me many things which kolkata can for instance my family, my loved ones and people who care for me. Mumbai has made me the person i am today, not the irrational, vindictive spoilt brat that i used to be in Kolkata, with a caring parents and an irritating little brother. Mumbai has tought me the lesson of life as well as forced me to restrict myself. I have immense freedom here but its upto me at the end of the day what i want to do and choose to be.

Thank you Mumbai ( not thanking the CM thou..lolz)


Its been more than a decade since ive posted something, well shall i say my life was boring all this while or shall i say i was too busy. Nevertheless, today i finally thought of typing down something on my favourite place, my blog.....
I promise ill be regular from now on with my posts....