Thoughts

With each passing day as my life unfolds,
my cynical thoughts about life just establishes itself all the more.
The line from the very famous song “when you get what you want but not what u need”
this seems like the sole constant factor in my existence.
Because with each passing day our needs, our wants changes, and we start building our world according to these changes thinking that someday they will be fulfilled but it doesn’t take long to realize that all this was nothing but just a false utopia we were living in.
There have been nights and even days when I try and engage myself in activities which are not even remotely close to my area of interest just to prevent my self from thinking.
Because I am scared, scared of my thoughts they are like drugs the more you indulge in it the more difficult it gets to come out of it. But somehow I have realized that the only solution to this is again nothing but thinking its like, to get out one drug you have to take aid of another drug. It’s painful but then healing involves umpteen amount of pain which you have to deal with.