Papa, dad, baba, all these words are synonymous with the word father a person who is probably the closest to any one. But for me in some way I always thought that I can never be very close to him emotionally or may be I thought that I could never have the same emotional association with him like the way I have with maa.
Papa was always the one to give me what I wanted in physical terms be it clothes, gifts, cars or even money for that matter. He is the one to pamper my material needs and I indisputably have always got what I wanted even before I have asked for it. But somewhere I thought that emotional connection was lacking and that I could never share any of my secrets or sorrows with him like I do with ma. May be I am at some level scared of him.
But lately as I grow up and start delving more into things I realized that even though there is no superficial emotional connect we connect at a very profound level where I don’t need to tell him when I need him the most and he is there for me.
This feeling stirred me up when recently I was extremely sad and thought that I have no one beside me excluding ma. I went to the living room to sit with my entire family ( which is a custom at my house every evening) just to accomplish my duty of a good daughter, when my dad called me and hugged me tightly and said “You are the most special person in my life “(after two pegs of scotch) . He did this quite frequently whenever he was high and that kind of annoyed me most of the times but somehow that day I had tears rolling down my eyes.
Even now when I am not going through a very ecstatic phase in my life and papa has absolutely no clue of that (at least I never let him know) but still he send me ticket to come back home thrice in a month. May be this is what you call the inner bond or the parental bond. At least this has made me realize the worth of my family. I guess this reinforces that the incredibly clichéd phrase “every dark cloud has a silver lining” is in fact true.